U name it

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Seen A Ghost ??

Since childhood have heard so much about the ghosts but never seen one myself, do they exist or … I am sure each one of you has heard lot of those ghost stories. I don’t know how many of you actually believe that ghosts exist, how many of you are scared of them.

I remember as a kid in school I had my fears and it was terrible. The school being housed in 18th century French castle, and located a secluded spot, fit to shoot horror movies. All kinds of stories used to float around. On one of the windows, in the dormitory there was an old painting, we where told that the guy who was making this fell from the window and died and his ghost roams around in the dormitory at night. On another wall there was this door which had been sealed, that door actually led to what was supposed to be the art room that again was said to be haunted.

Then there were stories about the French General who was buried in the basement of the main building and some other English soldiers who were buried around the school building, how their headless bodies rode the horses on the full moon nights. As a kid u lap all those stories. In ur mind there is always fear lurking.

One night I woke up, just past midnight, heard a strange sound, it appeared someone was walking around, but I did not see any one. I was so frightened, and the same thing happened the next day, in fact it became a daily routine. I wud wake around midnight and hear that same sound, scared to death, I wud be sweating even, whole day I wud be thinking about it. It continued for weeks, when one day I said I had to face it no matter what happened, that night when I heard that sound I just sat up, after a few seconds I realized it was the guy sleeping on the next bed, the sound was coming from there, went over to his bed and realized he was sleeping. It was his teeth that made that sound, I was so relieved that day, the next day I changed my bed to another part of the dormitory and got rid of the ghost.

Some where along I got rid of all fear for the ghosts, in fact by the time I was in senior dormitory I wud pretend to be a ghost myself. The dormitory was on the first floor with rows of door opening on the terrace, there were many statues, especially two large ones of tigers, so sometimes late at night I used to go out on the terrace with a white sheet, hold the sheet high just to create an illusion as some one very tall, then gently walk across the terrace, sit down, then hide behind one of those statues and re appear. I don’t know if any one ever saw me doing that and if any one did then how he felt.

The most credible story came from my aunt, but then again what she saw ....was it a ghost or a spirit or some thing else ? The first floor room at my maternal grandma’s place was supposed to be haunted. One evening my aunt was teaching a cousin of mine in that room, she sat facing the door when she saw this bright light entering the room thru the door and she said what’s this and then my cousin who sat facing the window said n what was that……that light. entered thru the door and went out thru the window …..once another aunt was sleeping when she got up in the middle of the night, saying she felt that some lay down next to her on the bed, when there was no one around.

Although I have spent so much time there but never came across anything, though once I was sleeping there with an uncle of mine. When I woke up early morning I did not find him on the bed, later when I asked him what happened he said at night he felt that a tall bearded guy was standing at the foot of the bed trying to say something, so after a while my uncle just went to another room downstairs, how mean he did not even tell me that he was going.

I don’t know where the truth lies, but today I am firm believer that there is nothing like a ghost or a spirit, I think its more an illusion as a result to what’s going on in ur mind, or how ur mind has been shaped from childhood. Lets hear what u ppl have to say on this one, has any one come across one?

Sunday, November 20, 2005


Clinton finally says that attack on Iraq was a mistake, but the mad man Bush still goes about unperturbed by the sheer stupidity of his actions. Post World War II no one has been responsible for as many deaths and destruction as this lunatic. There was an opportunity for the American people to get rid of this mad man but……..

It’s a shame that a nation that so much prides itself about its democratic values and its human rights has brought so much destruction, horror and deaths all over the world. The only country which has actually gone ahead and used nuclear weapons, now has assumed the role of watch dog aiming for a nuclear free world, rather rest of the world. How hypocritical, that it would go to any extent to stop countries from getting nuclear technology, while it continues to posses the biggest arsenal of nuclear weapons. It also holds large quantities of chemical and biological weapons. The anthrax used in attacks in US, came from the stocks of US military. Chemical and Biological weapons were freely used during the Vietnam war by the Americans.

What is happening today in the World is not accidental, its part of very well thought of strategy, with the sole aim of benefiting the US economy, post the collapse of soviet Union, the US needed some enemy to keep the tensions and conflicts going in world, because sans wars and these tensions the massive defense industry in US would collapse and hurt the country real bad. So it was decided to shift focus to Middle East, that would also ensure a hold on Oil. A decade back theories were already floating in US about the next clash, books were written, when I read one such theory, “Clash of Civilizations”, I thought these people were crazy, I just could not see then a clash between the Christians and Muslims, but it has happened because some people in US worked overtime to make this happen.

Iraqi’s were all the time in touch with US authorities when they invaded Kuwait, the secretary of state assured Saddam that it was all right with the US, if Iraq takes over Kuwait. Saddam never imagined that the US would use this as an excuse to destroy Iraq, because a powerful Iraq was seen as a threat to Israel.

9/11 was used as an excuse to destroy Afghanistan, not that there was much left in the country any way after the Soviet invasion. And then Iraq again, for the second war there was absolutely no justification, this time even the United Nations refused to tow the US line but in blatant disregard to all rules and regulations the Americans went ahead and attacked Iraq a second time, this time most of the countries refused to go along with US except for its lackey England.

The three wars have left hundreds of thousands dead, orphan children, people without homes. All this to end terror, but they are far from accompanying there goal, the path chosen by the US is bound to fail, rather it has led to an upsurge in violence. US by its actions has assured that ordinary, innocent people will continue to be victims of more terror attacks.

Unless until the US government radically alters its policy in the Middle East, there will always be people out there willing to cause havoc. It is the US itself which fuels this terror. Its support of the monarchies in the Middle East where there is not even a semblance of democracy, its hold over the Oil is one of thee factors which has led to this upsurge. Why does US support the dictator in Pakistan. People have realized that US concern for democratic values is a big sham. No one will ever understand who has given US the right to become play the global Cop. Now it threatens Syria, Iran and North Korea, without realizing that such an adventure would provide a massive boast to the terror groups.

I sincerely hope some day some one in US would realize that the country has lost the respect of vast majority of people in developing world because of its stupid policies. Its in their hands to have peace not only in US but rest of the World too. The world has had enough of madness.

Besides death and destruction another thing that really hurts, is that that billions of dollars are spent on senseless wars. If people had heart this money could be spent to feed the millions that die each year in Africa due to hunger, to provide for children dying of malnutrition and due to lack of medical facilities.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

First time i..

All right after all that serious stuff here is something light and beautiful it’s about love. Something which makes u do crazy things, which can give so much joy and pleasure and which can also be the source of never ending pain. Being in India, with all those restrictions being in love has some additional excitement. So this one is about the first time I was bowled over by someone.

I was still in school then, in the 12 std, lived in the boarding house, kind of a hero for what I did on the sports front. The all boys School, was located about two miles from the City, though we had a girls School too but that was in the City. It would be one of those rare days when u got to see a girl on the campus. But whenever one showed up whole lot of guys would be clamoring to get one look. Girls would almost at all times be the topic of discussion. One of those days I heard about this new girl Sonam at the girls school, how beautiful she was blah blah….

Few weeks later I was at the girls school to play a friendly basketball match with their team, part of their trainig program. I was the first one to walk on the court, when this girl wearing black shorts and a brown silky top, turns arnd and throws a ball to me, while I just went wow..she was really beautiful …. it was Sonam.

A week later these girls were coming over for a dance party, every year we had 3-4 such parties and it created so much excitement. Being the School Captain I had to start that dance which after few minutes the others wud join in. For those initial few minutes it wud be me and my partner alone on the floor. One of the guys threw a challenge at me, that I ask Sonam for the first dance. That’s what I did, we danced for some time, the challenge over I made an excuse that I had some work which wud take a while, just to get away, but this girl, she says I am waiting for you. When I came back after some 30 minutes, I did not expect her to be waiting for me but there she was sitting alone in the corner where I had left her, a big smile when she saw me, that moment floored me, her innocence and simplicity got me, the fact that she was really beautiful was a bonus.

To meet her was so difficult, my school had military like discipline, the guys in boarding house cud not go out without permission, which was given in rare cases. For each activity guys wud be counted to make sure everyone was there. Anyway I found out how she went home after school, both of our schools gave over almost at the same time. She walked some distance to the bus stop from where she wud take the bus. So I wud slip out of my last class a few minutes earlier, borrow a mobike, stop near her bus stop and then start walking towards her school, and so we used to bump into each other, we met just for few minutes because I had to rush back for lunch. Initially I pretended that we ran into each other by chance, though I am sure she guessed what I was up to.

Then I went to the University, while she moved to a girls College, where my sister was also studying. My sister got princely treatment from her, she wud not let her do anything, Sonam wud take care of everything. Sometime I went to visit my sister with my family dad n mum, when it used to be the time to return I wud be the last to get into the car, I had to wink at Sonam who wud be there my sister. Life was so beautiful, occasionally we wud talk of getting married but then before that we wanted to do something, settle down. Especially since we belonged to different religions there was always doubt wud the parents accept something like this.

Meanwhile Sonam applied for and got flight attendants job with an international carrier, suddenly we were like a 1000 miles apart, but we kept in touch, initially she used to ask me to join the Airline too, but that was not part of my plans. But i wud find all kind of excuses every now n then to travel to Mumbai where she was based, but gradually we just drifted apart, being on International Flights she was mostly away from the country. The distance got too us. There was this sinking feeling when the realization dawned that she was no longer mine, 8 yrs is a long time to be together with some one and then……she was such a wonderful person, so caring…..

Took some time to get back to my normal life. Then I went abroad for my MBA, on my return the first thing I did was to try and find her, may be we cud work out something, because no matter what had happened but we both cared for each other a lot. But there was absolutely no trace of her, I was told she had joined another Airline. I went to her house but her parents who were in some government job had moved too. She kind of just vanished in thin air. Some time I just sit n wonder where she is what she is doing……I still think tht some day we would run into each other and embrace each other in an everlasting hug………

All I have now is all those vivid memories, sometimes I hate myself for my memory.